I keep my emotions out of my corporate, 9-to-5 job. I know some people invest their emotions deeply into their careers, some even define themselves by what they do, but as long as I have worked, jobs have merely existed as a means to an end--a way for me to live my life the way I want when I am away from it.
Other than sometimes feeling overwhelmed by the amount of work or relief on Friday afternoons when I can be away from it for a couple of days, I generally stay very neutral throughout my work life, somewhere between Jim Halpert and a complete automaton. A prior boss used to say that I was unshakeable in the face of chaos. He treated it as a great asset; I wouldn't know how to be otherwise.
This stoicism stems not from an iron will or a steely composition, as I am a pretty emotional guy in my personal life. Instead, I'm pretty sure it's apathy. I mean, I try to do a good job at work, care enough about it to try (sometimes even succeed), and I always work hard (at least I tell myself that this is what 'working hard' looks like), but I just can't get emotionally involved in work that goes through countless levels of bureaucratic approval until it ultimately gets revised, pared down, and often completely transformed altogether. All of my corporate experience has been like this; my work is not me.
This morning, I unveiled a major new feature on my company's website to the internal marketing department. This project has been incubating and developing for over a year, involving several departments and countless hours of work, all of which resulted in a highly visible, dare I say cool, web presence that is unlike anything we currently have. Though not all of the ideas were mine, I was the project manager (which, admittedly, means I did very little of the actual work, just oversaw the progress of said work), so my name is prominently attached to this project like a designer label.
So rarely do I get to actually produce something tangible in this (insurance) industry. Even more rare is the development of something, at least in my company, that does not go through seemingly endless bureaucracy. Because of this freedom, the team and I created something unique, collaborative; I would even go as far as to say with love. I think everyone recognized this. During my presentation to a room of about 60 people, I consistently saw smiles from the audience, every so often a look of awe as I clicked through the site demonstration. I couldn't have been more excited to show everyone what months and months of effort have led to.
At the end of my presentation, I stood in front of everyone and thanked all the people involved, all of whom played a critical role in giving this project life. I even said something to the effect of, "I didn't prepare a thank you list, so I'm sure I'll leave some people out. . ." as if I had won an Academy Award. And that's when I knew, that moment where I started rattling off names--I was grateful to everyone who helped me, was actually proud of what I had led to completion. It was unbelievable: pride in one's work--who knew it could feel so good?
Congratulations :)
ReplyDelete