3/8/2011 - writing about the good in life. . .

I woke up this morning in the worst mood possible.  This ill-humor has been slowly building as the days go by, days that now unofficially begin when Grr decides he wants to whine and rattle his crate.  I explained this habit of his to a friend the other day as analogous to an inmate banging his tin cup against the bars of his cell, only in this case, I feel like the prisoner.  An eternally tired, irritated prisoner.

So I thought that today would be a great day to put this gratitude experiment to the test, see if all these weeks of writing about the good in life and thankfulness really have changed me at all.  First, I thought I should list what I can reasonably blame for my bad mood.  Well, it would be a very short list: Grr.  I'm just kidding.  Kind of.  But not really:

1. Grr's whining, which started at 3:00 this morning (2:00 yesterday, and various other times of o'dark-thirty in all the mornings prior).  He tested out an arsenal of intonations and pitches over the span of maybe half an hour, varying them all just enough so I couldn't easily tune them out.
2. When I finally did drag myself out of bed, I took Grr out to the garage to do his business (since he is terrified of the outdoors).  He peed and pooped twice each in four different places, not one of them included the puppy pads I laid down.  Soaking up pee and scooping up poop is not exactly what I want to do first thing in the morning.
3. What I do typically want to do first thing in the morning, I have not been able to.  This next item may be too much information, but in the spirit of honesty, I present it here with no further comment, hidden for the sensitive types: I'm sexually frustrated.  (Of course, now you can't look away.)

In contrast, here are all the good things that have happened up until the time I finished writing this:

1. Despite my mood and tiredness, I still managed to work out to a point where my arms felt noodley.
2. Hunter, the cute front desk boy at the gym, said 'good morning' and remembered my name.
3. There was a huge supply of free gum by the mailboxes at work.  (I don't really chew or like gum, but my Asianness holds its own pride parade when 'free' is involved, so I now have 15 boxes of gum in my drawer.)
4. Sam let me vent about my frustrations (except #3, above, since I was sitting in the cafeteria at work), and despite the conclusion we reached that I feel totally trapped in my life right now, he still managed to make me laugh.  A little.
5. The stock market closed up after a few rollercoaster days.  Even though I know it is totally unrelated, I still feel like it somehow increases my home value.
6. My weekly staff meeting got cancelled today, which allowed me to eat lunch at my normal time.
7. I bought a bag of Sour Patch Kids and ate them until my tongue went numb.
8. I also managed to choke down two protein shakes, and I'm imagining them turning me into the buff Abercrombie model I've always wanted to be even as I type.
9. It didn't rain on my commute to or from work, and on my way home, I hit mostly green lights.
10. Sam and I had burritos from our favorite taqueria for dinner.
11. Tomorrow is Wednesday, which is my designated day off from the gym, which means I can go to bed tonight without the burden of knowing that I'll be back up at five tomorrow morning.  Of course, I probably still will be (damn you, Grr), but at least I don't have to go to the gym.
12. When I'm not tired and annoyed and running after him to clean up his excrements, Grr is still the handsomest puppy I could ever have hoped for:

So now that that's done, do I feel better?  I think there are two answers.  Quantifiably?  Yes, definitely; numbers don't lie.  But actually?  I'm not sure.  Maybe.  But I guess it's better than what I would have said before I saw the two lists, which would have been a categorical 'no.'

So I'm going to go ahead and mark it as a success.  Yay.  Maybe this means I can stop doing this blog now. .