When Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" first came out, I hated it. Couldn't stand it. Thought it was the latest derivative thing from the latest pre-packaged and overproduced pop star. Then "Poker Face" came out, and I thought, Ugh, the chorus sounds just like Glenn Frey's "You Belong to the City," and what the hell does 'bluffin' with my muffin' even mean??
Then "LoveGame" came on the radio one afternoon as I was driving home. I didn't stand a chance; something about the beat, the slightly monotonal chorus, the reference to some guy's disco stick--it all just got me. And a few hours later, I had listened to The Fame in its entirety and became a helpless fan, even retroactively liking those songs I once hated.
And though it has been said many times by fans and critics alike, Lady Gaga reminds me of Madonna (the Like a Prayer, Justify My Love, 'erotic erotic put your hands all over my body' one, not the latest (re?)incarnation), of me when I first discovered Madonna in the mid-90's, of how she played a critical role during my formative years, all of which can be summed up in three words:
Gay. Teenage. Hormones.
Though I had it relatively easy as a gay teen in high school, I was still a whirling mass of chaos inside. Not to overcredit Madonna, but her brazenness and complete disregard for convention gave me license to channel my confusion into something else, feel confident in who I was, to be someone, even if I didn't yet know who that 'someone' would be.
I was not ready to come out en masse. I was out to individual people, those I trusted, but to broadcast it to the jocks, the bullies, the ones who prowl in packs, waiting for any sign of weakness, well, I was not brave enough for that. I did not want to be that gay kid. Besides, there was already one, the boy who wore green lipstick every day and hung out with the drama girls. So instead, I chose to become that weird kid who was obsessed about Madonna. I think I used it as my own subversive way of coming out, hiding in plain sight. Or something. Who knows? On hindsight, I think I should have just joined forces with that gay kid and possibly gotten some action out of it.
But anyway, in that precarious microcosm of high school, I teetered on the edge, always one misstep away from being a social pariah. But Madonna's shenanigans and vulgarity, as well as her championing of gay rights, gave me hope that life wouldn't always be like this. The aching need to belong would fade; the cool kids would not always be there to remind me how not cool I was. She was my own personal "It Gets Better" spokesperson.
And now, 15 years later, Lady Gaga is making good music, giving speeches about Don't Ask, Don't Tell, tweeting about marriage equality, using just about every opportunity to recognize her gay fans, especially the young ones and telling them that it is OK to be who you are, freak and otherwise, all while singing better than Madonna ever did (pre- and post-Evita). I can only imagine how I would have felt as a teenager and discovering her then.
I only hope that one day, after Lady Gaga has sold her millions and made her billions, when she is tired of this version of fame and is ready for something new, she will release an acoustic album, one with nothing more than a few strings, a piano, and her soaring voice. Seeing her perform "Speechless" on Ellen made me realize what a talent she has, and how much of it is hidden behind electronica and synthesizers, not unlike hiding behind expectations, social conformity, even green lipstick.
But that's a whole different matter for a different post. In the meantime, I'm as excited as a girl on prom night for the release of her new single tomorrow. For now, I'll be happy to wake up in the morning and listen to "Born This Way," synths and all.
Big fan too, although that "Telephone" song drives me nuts.
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